Increasing Love in Your Life by Alethea Rollins, Ph.D.

I recently began a journey of healing and acceptance. I found the best way to heal – thyself and others – is to fully open your heart to love. As you expand your capacity to love, you expand your capacity to be loved. And when you fully love someone else you expand their capacity to love others. Take a journey through your heart and clear a path to greater love and acceptance. Here are a few ways to begin increasing the love in your life…

1. Love yourself. A little cliché, but true. You cannot give what you do not have. If you’ve never been loved, aren’t sure how to love, or love everyone else and neglect yourself – start by applying these tips to yourself first. Love starts in your heart and then it freely spreads like wildflowers.
2. Forgive yourself and forgive others. To forgive is not to forget; but to allow you to release the hurt, disappointment, shame, anxiety, sadness, fear, anger, _____________, and not re-live it. You experienced it once, let it go!
3. Accept yourself (and others) for who you are and who you’ve been. Acknowledge your faults, and the flaws of others. Be thankful for the lessons learned from shortcomings and the progress that’s been made.
4. Be kind and gentle to yourself, to others, and to the earth. By doing so you honor the goodness in yourself and others and create opportunities for blessing.
5. Serve others. Losing yourself in service to others is one of the greatest expressions of love. Seek opportunities to serve and open your heart to be served.
6. Smile. Purposefully smile at everyone you see – starting with your own beautiful reflection! A genuine smile beams from an open heart – and you can fake it until you make it. Smiling not only makes others feel good, it makes you feel good. So go ahead and let your smile brighten the day.
7. Accentuate the positive. We (as women, as academics, as writers) have been trained to critique; but there is a time and a place (and we should do so with kindness – see #4). Re-train your eye to see the good. Acknowledging the good doesn’t negate the bad, it just encourages us to be our best.
8. Encourage. Grab your pom-poms and cheer someone to the finish line (or the end of that writing project). Sometimes we need to know that someone’s in our corner. You may never know the impact of your encouraging words, but encouraging words are always welcome.
9. Greet warmly. You know the old saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” When you take the time to greet someone warmly you affirm them and their importance in this world. Whether on the phone or face to face, take the time to genuinely say hello and ask them how they are doing….and, most importantly, listen for a response.
10. Breathe deeply. Breathing appropriately (from the belly – not the chest) helps you to be present in the moment. Being grounded and present will allow you to more fully experience the love that is in and around you. Slow down and take it all in.

I am daily striving to increase the love in my life. Some days I find ways to love myself, but most days I focus on new ways to express my love to those around me. As I increase the love in my life, I increase the love in the world. What would happen if we all increased the love in our lives?

© Alethea Rollins, Ph.D.

And if you like these tips and find yourself feeling overwhelmed, you will want to access the Just Whelmed Wee Weekly Workshops. Each week you will receive mini workshops are designed to help you reduce your stress so you can become just whelmed