Phrases to Eliminate by Darla Arni
By using these phrases you sacrifice the power of personal responsibility in exchange for blame, regret, guilt and hopelessness. The healthier alternative is to monitor your communications and self-talk and eliminate the negative or quickly substitute a positive phrase for the limiting ones.
- If only. Drop this one altogether! Mourning the past keeps you from building the future.
- I’ll try. This is one of my most frustrating phrases because it is a weak excuse for not doing anything. To quote Yoda, “Do or do not… there is no try.”
- I should have. Using this phrase brings in blame, regret, and guilt. Way too much baggage to carry; send it to the trash bin!
- I could have. If you must express this sentiment rephrase it as, “I had a chance to but instead I chose . . .”
- I ought to. Sounds like another reason to procrastinate. Use this phrase only if you like standing still and accomplishing nothing.
- I must. Most often this is a result of some long ago message drummed into your head by a well meaning parent or former control freak boss. Time to grow up and make your own decisions; it’s your life; choose to be in charge.
- I’d better. This phrase signals you might know what to do but you’re standing there contemplating or waiting for someone to give you an excuse not to. Cut through the double talk and go with “I choose to” then move forward.
- I meant to. Excuses, excuses, excuses, and a poor one at that. Hit delete and never bother to utter this phrase again!
- If it weren’t for. When you hear this you know a pity party is coming along with big helpings of blame. There is power in personal responsibility so tap into it already!
- Why didn’t I? We could all waste time with this one but hey, that would be wasting our life! Stop beating yourself over the head and live in the now.
Life is not as hard as you make it. Quit adding to the whininess of the world and banish these phrases forever. We’d all appreciate it!
© 2010 Darla Arni | Darla is a Speaker, Artist and Author (and a friend of Meggin for 30+ years – and they have the same birthday).
And if you like these tips and find yourself feeling overwhelmed, you will want to access the Just Whelmed Wee Weekly Workshops. Each week you will receive mini workshops that are designed to help you reduce your stress so you can become just whelmed