A More Peaceful Life by Beverly Delidow
Many women (OK – some men, too) find themselves so wrapped up in taking care of other people and outside priorities that they forget their own needs, priorities, and well-being. This is not a peaceful, productive way to live. Here is a list of simple thoughts that may help nudge a crazed life back onto a more balanced track. Try some or all of them – I give you permission.
- Sometimes to do what you need to do, you have to say “no” to someone you love. This includes spouses, children, family members, friends, and, yes, even the pets.
- Anticipate need and buy ahead. Life is so much easier when you don’t run out of milk, bread, deodorant, or toilet paper.
Four DOs:
- DO: ONE thing at a time. It is amazing how much easier tasks become when you give them your WHOLE attention. Just a few times a day, try a simple, uninterrupted task. Notice how wonderful it feels.
- DO: Something nice for yourself everyday. Wear something you love. Have a piece of wonderful chocolate. Make your favorite tea. Look at a photo that takes you somewhere beautiful. Create peace for yourself.
- DO: Something nice for someone else. Share your chocolate, share happiness, offer comfort, offer your honest, gentle thoughts. This is really fun if it is also something unexpected. Joy reflects in all directions.
- DO: Revisit plans regularly. If you reached a goal – celebrate, and then think about the next step. If you hit an obstacle, learn and move forward in a new way. Keep the future in front of you.
And four DON’Ts:
- DON’T: Try to please everyone at once. You know this – you’ve heard it a million times. It doesn’t work, and it only makes you crazy. Let go.
- DON’T: Push your own needs to back of the line all the time. You are important, too. It is not your job to make everyone else happy first – they need to make their own. On those days when you’ve been through the ringer and you just want to collapse in a heap and do nothing – DO IT. I give you permission.
- DON’T: Think that critique is the same as criticism. I’ll ‘fess up to this one. It is hard to read or hear critique of something you’ve done. But – we all make mistakes, learning how to correct them is part of growing into our skills. Learn to grow, rather than groan.
- DON’T: Let anyone put you down. Critique is one thing – but no one should tolerate being slammed or slimed. You have every right to be treated respectfully by those around you, no matter what your perceived failings. Accept no less.
I’m not going to pretend that I do all of these things flawlessly, but when I do them, life gets better. I get more done and I’m in a better mood doing it. I’m betting some of them will work for you, too. Got it? Good. Get ready to start. I gave you permission. Now give it to yourself.
© Beverly C. Delidow delidow@marshall.edu Beverly Delidow is a professor, writer, and photographer in West Virginia. She has published articles, fiction, poetry, and photographs in a number of forms.
And if you like these tips and find yourself feeling overwhelmed, you will want to access the Just Whelmed Wee Weekly Workshops. Each week you will receive mini workshops are designed to help you reduce your stress so you can become just whelmed
